A Life Unlived
by Amaranth Traces
Summary: SamDaniel. Sam touches something offworld that changes her life forever.
1. Chapter 1

**A Life Unlived**

_Genre:_ Sam/Daniel romance/drama  
_Spoilers:_ Children of the Gods, Secrets, The Tok'ra, Forever in a Day, The Light (bonus points for anyone who catches that one)  
_Summary:_ Sam touches something off-world that changes her life forever.  
_Season:_ Near the beginning of Season 5  
_Disclaimer: _I don't own Stargate or anything related to it.  
_Author's notes:_ _Italics_ indicates thoughts, **bold** indicates emphasis.

**Note: **Special thanks to my shiny new beta, Thraesja! She's brilliant!

**-- Chapter 1 -- **

"Alright campers, let's get this show on the road!" Colonel Jack O'Neill announced as he walked up the ramp towards the active Stargate.

The other three members of SG-1, Teal'c, Major Samantha Carter, and Dr. Daniel Jackson followed their team leader through the wormhole. Three point four seconds later, they stepped onto another planet.

They were inside a building, in a room that appeared to be a lab. It was mostly dark, with black stone walls, and spotlights shining down on tables scattered around the room. Several as yet unidentified objects were set on each table. Directly to the right of the Stargate, a section of the wall had a large alcove built into it.

SG-1 walked down the few steps leading away from the Stargate as the wormhole deactivated behind them. It didn't look like anyone had been here for a very long time.

"So let's see if there's anything here that's worth the trip." Colonel O'Neill started strolling around the room, looking at the dust-covered items on a table across the room.

Sam wandered over to the alcove in the wall. Within the recess, a book was propped up next to a moderately hefty artefact with a large clear stone set in its centre.

"Daniel," Sam called to her archaeologist friend as she picked up the book. "You're going to want to see this."

"What is it?" Daniel appeared at her side. "Ooh!" he exclaimed as he noticed what she was looking at. She handed him the book and shone her flashlight on the artefact to get a better look at it.

Daniel opened the book and began reading. "It's in Ancient," he told her excitedly. "This looks like a record of the design and use of this—whatever this is." Daniel showed her a large drawing in the book that depicted the artefact she was examining.

Sam looked over his shoulder and studied the diagram. "Does it say what it's supposed to do?"

He ran his fingers over the text on the pages as he translated. As he began his explanation, the Colonel and Teal'c continued examining the other items in the room.

"Well now, this is all pretty boring. Table after table filled with **rocks**," grumbled the Colonel.

Daniel turned his attention away from the book as he glanced at his grouchy friend. He leaned his head closer to Sam. "Is this boring?"

Sam shook her head and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Don't listen to him."

He gave her a disarming grin. "Never do."

She chuckled. Then, being genuinely interested, she asked "What else does it say?"

Daniel smiled at her gratefully, then flipped to the next page in the book and continued reading. "This is weird. This section almost reads like poetry. 'Leaving the life we've come to know'," he translated.

"You're joking. It doesn't say that!" Punching him lightly on the arm, she leaned closer as he pointed to the line of text he had just read. "That's—" She laughed. "That's Gladys Knight and the Pips."

"What?" Daniel appeared perplexed by her comment.

"It's a song lyric from 'Midnight Train to Georgia'," she explained. "Almost word for word."

"It is?"

Sam nodded.

Daniel shrugged. "Well, that's what it says. I don't know what it means, though." He flipped a few more pages, trying to find further explanation.

Shaking her head, Sam turned back to the artefact. As she examined it for markings or buttons, she found her eyes drawn to the clear stone in its centre. She gazed into the stone, momentarily mesmerized.

"Sam? Sam! Are you okay?" Daniel's voice sounded like it was coming from very far away.

She turned to her friend, "I'm fine, why?"

"Hmm?" Daniel looked up at her from his book, clearly confused.

"Did you just say something?"

"Uh...no. I—I don't think so. You okay?" Concern creased his forehead.

"Yeah, as I said, I'm fine." She shook her head and laughed.

Daniel studied her for another moment before apparently deciding she was alright. Giving her another grin, he focused his attention back on the book in his hands.

Sam turned back to continue her examination of the artefact and the stone embedded in it. A beam of light, almost like a rainbow, flashed briefly at her from the centre of the stone. Captivated by the beauty of it, Sam reached her hand out towards the stone and touched it.

The world began to swirl around her and she felt dizzy.

"Sam? Sam! Are you okay?" She heard Daniel's voice echo in her head as the blackness overwhelmed her.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**-- Chapter 2 -- **

Sam opened her eyes, squinting at the man standing above her. "Daniel?"

"Oh, thank God. You scared me."

She looked around, confused. "What happened?" Sam tentatively identified the room they were in as part of a civilian hospital. A cheerful curtain hung from the ceiling on a track that enclosed the bed on which she was lying.

"You passed out. You're at the hospital."

"Weren't we just–" She stopped mid-question as a man she didn't recognize walked into the room. He was wearing a long white lab coat and a stethoscope around his neck. A badge clipped to his coat indicated that his name was Hobbes and he worked in the emergency room.

"Oh good. You're awake. Are you feeling dizzy or light-headed?"

"Um...no."

"Good. All of your tests have come back normal; I think it was just a simple fainting spell, probably due to a temporary drop in blood pressure."

_Fainting spell? __I don't have fainting spells. _Sam struggled to understand what was going on. _Weren't we just off-world?_ She pulled herself into a sitting position on the bed and realised that she was no longer wearing her BDUs. Instead, she was dressed in comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. _What is going on?_

"And the baby?" asked Daniel.

_What baby? _Sam looked around the room for a child.

"I'm confident that the baby is fine, but I'm ordering an ultrasound, just to be sure.

Ready? Follow me, please," ordered Doctor Hobbes without waiting for a response. He opened the door and held it for them.

Sam desperately wanted to talk to Daniel alone, but obviously that would have to wait. She eased herself off the bed and with Daniel's help stood unsteadily.

"Take it easy, honey. Go slow, okay?" He wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her as she regained her balance.

_Honey?_ Sam sat in the wheelchair that Daniel led her to, feeling bewildered.

The doctor showed them into another room down the hall. Daniel helped Sam onto an examination table as a young technician bounced into the room. A few quiet words were exchanged between the doctor and the technician before the Doctor Hobbes left the room.

"Okay," chirped the technician as she assembled a few bottles on a table. "Would you mind lifting your shirt?"

Sam was having difficulty processing everything that was happening. "What?"

"We just want to make sure that the little one is still happy in there," replied the technician. Without waiting for Sam, the technician tugged up the bottom of Sam's t-shirt, exposing her abdomen. Cold gel was squirted onto her belly and the ultrasound machine was flicked on.

"Daniel, what is going on?!"

He reached down and took her hand, holding it tightly. "It's okay, honey. I'm sure everything's fine." He smiled reassuringly and then turned his gaze to the monitor on the ultrasound machine.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," sang the technician as she moved the ultrasound wand over Sam's stomach. "Ah ha! Found you!"

"Everything's fine, right?" asked Daniel anxiously.

The perky woman squinted at the monitor, and then looked up at Daniel, "Yup! This little one looks very happy."

"Little one?" Sam's voice was so high-pitched, she was sure that only dogs could hear her now.

"Yup! Right here." She pointed at an image on the screen. "Hi there!" She waved at the image. "Looking pretty healthy for 12 weeks, too!"

Sam stared at the technician, wondering if she was insane, before turning to see the image on the ultrasound screen. "Oh my God," she whispered. The image was definitely that of a developing baby.

"I know, it still amazes me too," Daniel murmured as he caressed her shoulder lovingly.

"Give me that!" Sam snatched the device from the technician's hand and repositioned it on her stomach. The image changed in perfect sync with her movements. She honed back in on the image of the baby and stared at it in disbelief. "That's..." She was at a loss for words. _Impossible_, she thought. She looked up at Daniel, desperate for some kind of explanation.

"Our baby," he answered, smiling.

Then, Daniel leaned over and kissed her lovingly on the lips.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**-- Chapter 3 -- **

Sam blinked rapidly as Daniel pulled away from the kiss.

Daniel finally seemed to become aware of her confusion. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her gently. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Please, Daniel. I don't want to be here anymore." Sam wasn't completely sure what was going on, but she certainly knew that she wanted to get away from this hospital. She needed time to think, and privacy to talk to Daniel about classified matters.

"Okay, let's go home."

Daniel took care of the paperwork for her hospital visit while Sam cleaned the ultrasound gel off of her abdomen. She followed him to a car and they drove away in silence. Daniel periodically cast concerned looks in her direction. Sam stared out the window at the passing scenery, processing what she had observed at the hospital. She was pregnant. How was that possible? Was this some alternate reality? Was she hallucinating? Was this the future? Sam was still going over the possibilities when Daniel pulled the car into an unfamiliar driveway. She looked at him, confused.

He smiled. "Come on inside."

Daniel got out of the car and started walking around to her side. Sam opened the door and stepped out. He took her hand and led her up the walk into the house. He unlocked the door, they went inside, and he settled her onto the sofa.

Sam looked around the room; it had been decorated in her preferred modern style, but also included several ancient artefacts that practically screamed of Daniel. The bookshelf nearby held an eclectic mix of astrophysics, linguistic and archaeology books.

She leaned back on the sofa, dazed, and Daniel knelt on the floor in front of her, worry creasing his face. "Now, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Where are we?"

"What do you mean? We're home."

"We're—" she glanced again at the room then back at the man in front of her. "Daniel, something's not right."

"What do you mean?" he repeated.

Sam studied him and bit her lip. "What year is it?"

"What?" He gave her a funny look. "Sam, you're really starting to scare me."

"Just...answer my question...please."

"It's 2001, Sam."

Sam sighed. _So much for this being the future_. "Daniel, I want to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that you'll listen, not make judgements, and not assume I'm crazy and have me locked up in a padded cell."

The concern on his face deepened and he got up from the floor and sat on the sofa next to her.

"Sam, honey, you know me better than that." He touched her face gently. She hesitated a moment before pulling away from his touch. He frowned but made no further attempt to touch her.

She took a deep breath and began. "Before I woke up in the hospital, I wasn't..." She waved her hands around at the room. "...here."

Daniel tilted his head and waited for her to continue.

"I think it was another reality – a parallel universe or something. Maybe—" She thought of something and leaned forward. "What happened just before I passed out?"

He blinked at the phrases 'another reality' and 'parallel universe'. It took a moment before he answered her. "We were out in the park, taking a walk."

"There wasn't a mirror or anything that I touched?"

"A mirror? No. We were just walking down a path together."

Sam leaned back again. With a sigh, she continued, "I don't remember being in a park. The last thing I remember is being on P23-8X5. We were examining an artefact and you were translating a text we found nearby, while the Colonel made annoying comments about rocks."

She paused, remembering every detail. "The centre of the artefact had a large clear stone. I was looking at it and it—it **glinted** at me. I reached out to touch it, and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital."

Daniel's eyes were wide as he listened to her explanation.

"Look," Sam said softly, "Something's wrong, Daniel. I think we should get back to Stargate Command and have Janet check me out to find out what's happening." Sam frowned, _I can't believe I'm volunteering to visit Janet's infirmary._

"Sam," he said slowly. "The Stargate program has been shut down for years."

Sam blinked at him.

"And who's Janet?"

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**-- Chapter 4 --**

Sam's mind reeled. _This must be an alternate reality_. "When was the program shut down? Why?"

Daniel stood up and took her hands. "Maybe we should get you back to the hospital."

"Daniel, please. You promised that you wouldn't assume I was crazy."

"I'm just worried about you, Sam."

"Please, I need to figure out what's going on. I feel fine, really,"

He looked at her doubtfully.

"Well, except for remembering things a little differently, just – please just talk to me." She tugged on his hands, urging him to sit down again.

Reluctantly, he sat down and answered all of her questions.

Sam's first and only mission through the Stargate seemed to be the point at which this reality had diverged from her own. Daniel explained that after he had shown Sam, Jack and Kawalsky the cartouche room on Abydos, Jack had grown frustrated with the scientific discussion between Sam and Daniel. Jack had told them just do whatever it was that they had to do, and then he and Kawalsky had gone back to the Stargate.

Daniel sighed and hung his head to his chest before he continued. "To this day, I don't know what really happened."

Sam squeezed his arm gently. "What do you mean?"

"We—when we finally left the cartouche room and went back to join the others at the Stargate—" Daniel took a shuddering breath, "They were dead. All of them." He looked at her, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "Someone had come through the Stargate – someone who looked a lot like Ra. It didn't make sense, though. Many of the aliens had been killed by gunfire, and all of the humans died of wounds from those staff energy weapons that the aliens had. But several of the aliens had also been hit with the staff blasts. It seemed like the Ra-look-alike had survived the longest. He was found lying over the dialling device. He had injuries from both gunfire **and** staff weapons. It doesn't make any sense." Daniel shook his head as if to clear his confusion.

"Everyone was dead? Colonel O'Neill? Sha're?"

"Yes," he whispered. "It was a massacre. We were the only ones to make it back to Earth alive." Daniel sighed heavily and looked at her apologetically. "We don't talk about this very much."

Sam felt her heart go out to him, "I'm so sorry, Daniel," she said softly. After a moment, she continued, "I think I know what happened."

He looked at her, surprised, "You do?"

"I remember things differently, but I'd be willing to bet that you found staff blasts on the humans **and** on the Jaffa because of Teal'c."

"Teal'c?"

"He was the First Prime of Apophis." She caught his confused look. "Your Ra-look-alike. It sounds like Teal'c chose that moment to rebel against Apophis, although I can't imagine why he would have thought that would be a strategically sound time." She considered the problem. "Maybe Colonel O'Neill said something to make him..." Sam's voice trailed off.

Deciding there were more important things to address right now, Sam turned to face Daniel. "What happened after we got back to Earth?"

"They buried the Stargate. All information about it was classified at a level so deep that even the President would have to cut through a lot of red tape to get at it," he answered. "We were diagnosed with what they call 'survivor's guilt' and were sent to various shrinks to help us heal. Ultimately though, we found that the only people who could really help us cope were each other." Daniel squeezed her hand. "You resigned your commission and the government has been paying us a comfortable pension in exchange for our continued silence about the project. We get called to do the occasional lecture, you more often than I, of course." He smiled at her. "A year and almost three months ago, we got married."

She didn't return his smile and Daniel studied her face intently. "How do you remember things?"

She shook her head and looked into his eyes. "Abydos **was** a disaster, but not as bad as you said. Several of us made it back to Earth, but Sha're and Skaara were taken and made hosts for Goa'uld symbiotes. We went on a mission to save them, but we were captured. Teal'c rebelled against Apophis at that point and saved our lives. He joined our efforts against the Goa'uld. The Stargate program has been running for years. We've made enemies, yes, but also powerful allies like the Tok'ra and the Asgard."

"And you and I are married?"

Sam bit her lip. "Um...no. We're uh...we're really, really good friends."

"Oh." Daniel moved slightly to sit farther from her on the sofa and hung his head. "So, I'm still married to Sha're, then?" he asked softly.

Sam sighed. "No. She died a year and a half ago."

Pain and confusion flickered across his face, and Sam placed a gentle hand on his arm. "But she wasn't Sha're anymore, Daniel. She was host to the Goa'uld Amonet. There was nothing that any of us could have done for her."

"And after she died, we never—" His voice faltered and he hung his head again.

Sam rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I know this is hard. It's hard for both of us."

"Where's my Sam?" His voice was hoarse.

She was surprised by his words. Usually, when she heard a man refer to a woman as 'his' she experienced feelings of revulsion. But hearing Daniel refer to Sam as 'his' didn't leave that same sour feeling in her stomach. He wasn't being possessive; he was full of love. Under different circumstances, she might even come to like it.

"I—I don't know," she answered honestly. He looked dejectedly at her and she felt her heart break for him. "Maybe I am your Sam," she said without thinking. "I mean, I **am** pregnant." That statement seemed strange to her ears, but she continued. "Maybe something happened that just screwed up my memory. Like some crazy form of amnesia, or—or delusions, or something." She knew she was grasping at straws, but she couldn't stand to see him so sad.

Daniel seemed to regain hope with her words; Sam pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck. "Maybe I can help you remember," he said.

She pulled back and saw that he was smiling. She smiled in return. "I hope so."

And she was surprised to realise that she actually meant it.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**-- Chapter 5 --**

Over the next few days, Sam started working on finding out what happened to her and how she could get back home. Occasionally, Daniel would pull her away from her work to tell her about their life together. He brought out photo albums and journals and they went through everything. Their life was simple and peaceful, and Sam was amazed at how much love she saw in the photos of her other self and Daniel.

As the weeks passed, Sam found herself more easily distracted from her research. The baby growing inside of her made the truth of her situation all too real. Daniel was very supportive of her efforts, but it was obvious that he was also pleased that she was spending more time with him and less with her notebooks and other documents.

One morning, everything changed. Ten and a half weeks after waking up in the hospital, she felt the baby kick for the first time.

It was a tiny miracle and it changed Sam's life. She looked down at the table in front of her. It was covered in books, charts and notes. The papers represented everything that Sam had been studying to find a way home. Pushing her chair away from the table, she stood up and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. She leaned against the counter, drinking her water, lost in thought.

That evening, Daniel lit a fire in their fireplace. They lay on the sofa together watching the flames. She was settled between his legs, leaning back against his chest. Daniel's arms were wrapped around her, his outstretched fingers spread over her now swollen tummy. Sam placed her hands over his, her fingers touching her stomach through the gaps between his fingers.

Daniel gave a contented sigh and kissed her earlobe. Sam smiled and turned to gaze at him.

"I love you, Daniel."

His eyes searched hers. "You do?"

Sam nodded. "I do."

"You haven't said that since your fainting spell," he said slowly.

"I'm sorry...I—" She didn't know what to say.

"Do you remember us now?"

"No, but I want to, Daniel. And I do love you."

He smiled and whispered, "I love you too, Sam."

"Actually, I have something for you." Sam got up and went to the table that was covered in her research. She gathered everything up into a pile, carried it back into the room, and then stood at the end of the sofa.

Daniel looked at her and the research she was holding and frowned, clearly confused.

Once Sam was certain that Daniel had recognised the documents in her arms, she smiled warmly at him, and then tossed them into the fireplace.

"Sam! What are you doing?" Daniel leapt to his feet. He reached for the papers, but she caught his hand in hers before he could burn himself. It took only a few moments for her work to be devoured by the flames. He looked at her, obviously upset. "You've been working on that for weeks!"

"For the last ten weeks I've been trying to get home. I realised this morning that I was already home." Sam took his hand and placed it on her belly. "I'm having your baby, Daniel, and I've never been happier."

His expression turned from one of disbelief to one of awe. "Sam..." His voice was husky. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

"I love you, Daniel."

"Oh God, Sam, I love you so much." There were tears pooling in his eyes. "Thank you."

She gasped softly as she felt the fluttering sensation of the baby kicking. "Here, meet the one who finally made me realize how stupid I was being." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach as the baby kicked again.

Daniel was speechless; the tears fell from his eyes. Sam beamed at him. "That's our baby," she whispered.

That night, Sam suggested that Daniel move his things out of the guest room where he had been sleeping since her fainting spell, and back into their bedroom. He readily agreed. Her first night with him was loving and tender, and everything she had imagined. She found herself fascinated by a group of three freckles on his chest. They were in an almost perfectly straight line that looked exactly like Orion's belt. Trailing kisses along them led her to discover other incredibly stimulating activities with Daniel.

A few days later, at Sam's request, they had a small, quiet ceremony in which she and Daniel renewed their wedding vows. The ceremony was mostly for Sam's benefit, because she didn't remember getting married in the first place.

Her pregnancy progressed perfectly and she went into labour just one day after her due date. The delivery, however, did not go completely according to plan. The placenta had prematurely torn away from Sam's uterus and she began to haemorrhage. The doctors performed an emergency hysterectomy when they were unable to stop the bleeding. Several tense hours later, the doctors told Daniel that both mother and baby were going to be fine.

It was a boy. They named him Jonathan Jacob Jackson, in honour of their late friend Jack O'Neill and Sam's father, who had died from cancer a year before Sam and Daniel's wedding. Sam was saddened at the news that they couldn't have any more children, but the sight of their beautiful son quickly dashed away her unhappiness.

As she held her new baby, Sam was overcome with joy. She looked up at her husband who was grinning proudly at them and smiled. _This is a perfect life_, she thought, _I wouldn't want things any other way_.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**-- Chapter 6 --**

Little Jonathan was a very clever boy. He had his father's expressive blue eyes, his mother's blonde hair, and shared both his parents' love of knowledge. He was ahead of the norm in every category – his first steps, first words – he achieved all of the major childhood goals at a much younger age than average. Sam occasionally wondered what Colonel O'Neill would have thought of his young namesake. _Proud, if a little frightened_, she decided.

Sam had always wanted to learn to draw more than stick figures, so she signed up for art classes. She became very good at sketching portraits and she often found herself drawing the two men in her life. Her favourite pictures of Jonathan and Daniel were framed and hung all around their house.

Over the years, she published several books on theoretical astrophysics. Daniel started writing a series of children's books about the myths and legends of ancient cultures. The illustrations of his stories were done by Sam. Together, they authored dozens of books that were loved by children all around the world. It gave them a connection to the world, and an income not indirectly derived from the tragedy on Abydos.

One day, a week before Jonathan's fifth birthday, Sam decided to have a serious discussion with Daniel. Although he had never said anything, she knew that they were both hurting from not being able to have another child. Now that Jonathan was getting older, she thought she had come up with a solution. Given Daniel's childhood experiences, she was pretty sure that he'd agree.

At supper that night, she pushed some forms that she had printed off the Internet across the table towards him.

"What's this?" Daniel picked up the forms after putting a forkful of lasagne in his mouth. He scanned the pages as he chewed. Swallowing, he looked up at his wife, a question in his eyes. "Sam?"

Sam took a deep breath. "I've been looking into it and I thought that maybe – if you're interested – we could apply to become foster parents?"

"Are you serious?"

She nodded. "What do you think?" She looked at him hopefully.

He got off his chair and moved to her side, pulling her into his arms. Daniel cradled her face in his hands and gazed at her lovingly. "I think I'm married to the most incredible woman in the world." He laughed softly, "No. Make that the galaxy."

The next week, at Jonathan's birthday party, Sam was in the kitchen lighting the candles on her son's cake. Daniel poked his head through the door. "Ready?"

She smiled at him. "Yep."

"Great! Let's go!"

Sam picked up the cake and Daniel held the swinging kitchen door open for her. They started singing 'Happy Birthday' as she walked toward the table, with Daniel following close behind. Jonathan's face was glowing with pride and excitement. Sam smiled at her son over the candles as she sang.

Suddenly, her vision blurred. Sam felt dizzy and swayed slightly. Daniel caught her, but the cake fell to the floor. She looked up at her husband, his face swimming in front of her half-closed eyes.

"Daniel?" she mumbled as she reached out to touch his face. Her knees gave out and Daniel lowered her carefully to the floor.

"Sam? Come on, Sam. Look at me." She heard his voice as if from a distance as the darkness enveloped her.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**-- Chapter 7 --**

"Sam? Come on, Sam. Look at me."

"Mmm…Daniel." Sam's fingers trailed lazily over his lips.

"Sam, are you okay? Come on, Sam. Open your eyes. Look at me."

Sam complied and found herself gazing into her husband's deep blue eyes. His expression showed deep concern. She smiled weakly at him and he looked relieved.

She was on the floor in Daniel's arms. Sam blinked at him and mumbled, "What happened?"

"I'm not sure. You passed out. Are you okay?"

"Where's Jonathan?"

"Excuse me?" asked a voice nearby.

Sam turned her head to find the source of the voice. Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c were crouching next to her and Daniel, both looking very worried. She gawked at them. "You—you're alive!"

Teal'c's eyebrows practically skyrocketed off his forehead and the Colonel's eyes widened. "Oh good! 'Cause I was really worried about **me** for a minute there. For crying out loud, Carter, you're getting as bad as Daniel – touching things you don't understand!"

Sam turned to gaze up at Daniel again. His face was creased with worry for her.

"Daniel..." Her voice was barely a whisper. She desperately searched his face for answers to questions she was afraid to ask. His brow furrowed in confusion.

Sam squeezed her eyes closed before she looked around again. She realised that they were in a mostly dark room. It was the lab on P23-8X5 that they had been in more than five years ago. With another look up at Daniel's concerned face, she forced herself to sit up. Dropping her head into her hands, she tried to control the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her.

"Okay kids, let's get home and have Carter checked out."

Daniel helped Sam to her feet, and without thinking she leaned into his familiar arms. Realising what she was doing, she jumped back. Teal'c caught her as she stumbled, and she clung to the Jaffa.

"Are you alright, Sam?" Daniel asked her.

"I'm fine," Sam choked out, avoiding Daniel's troubled gaze. "I'm fine," she repeated quietly, speaking almost to herself.

Teal'c looked down at the woman in his arms and frowned. He turned his eyes to the archaeologist and raised an eyebrow.

Daniel sighed. Then, tearing his eyes away from Sam, he walked up to the DHD and began dialling Earth.

Sam blinked back the hot tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. She watched as Daniel dialled the 'gate. _He's not my husband here. Did any of it actually happen? Was it a dream? Oh God, Jonathan._ Sam sobbed into Teal'c chest as she realised her son wasn't here – that he could never be here. A profound feeling of loss seemed to swallow her whole. She didn't resist as Teal'c helped her back through the Stargate and to the infirmary.

"What happened?" asked Dr. Janet Frasier.

Sam sat on the edge of one of the beds in the infirmary. She blinked as Janet shone a penlight in her eyes. She forced herself to focus on what was going on around her.

"I, um..." Sam struggled to recall the last thing that had happened to her in the life that she had left behind more than five years ago.

"She lost consciousness," Daniel answered for her.

"Yeah. After she touched something she wasn't supposed to," corrected the Colonel. "Why does it seem like I'm the only one who knows that's never a good idea?'

"What was it?" Janet asked, ignoring him.

"Well, we were just trying to figure that out when..." Daniel's voice trailed off.

"Okay, gentlemen. You need to leave so I can finish up with Sam." The doctor ushered the Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill out of the infirmary, disregarding their objections. "That means you too, Daniel."

"You think she's alright?" Sam heard him ask Janet. He had a lost look on his face.

"I need you to leave so that I can figure that out." The doctor gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Go on. Go get something to eat with Teal'c and the Colonel. She'll be out of here before you know it."

Daniel nodded and, with one last look over his shoulder at Sam, finally left.

Dr. Frasier soon gave Sam a clean bill of health, though she naturally expressed some reservations about Sam's state of mind. After again insisting that she was fine, Sam escaped the infirmary as quickly as possible. She was relieved to discover that the rest of her team wasn't waiting outside the infirmary.

Sam managed to walk all the way to her office in what she hoped was a dignified manner. She locked the door and sank to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. There, she cried for the loss of her son, her husband, and her life.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**-- Chapter 8 -- **

Half an hour later, Sam was still crying.

Someone knocked on her door. "Sam?" came Daniel's voice. "Sam, are you okay?"

It was no use pretending that she wasn't there. She knew he could probably hear her sobs through the door. "Please go away," she choked out.

"Sam, please tell me what's wrong. How can I help?"

"Daniel, please. Just—just go away," Sam couldn't bear to see him – the man who had been her husband for more than five years. Five years that never happened. There was a long pause before she heard him slowly walk away.

Sam spent the night in her office and the next day, she summoned all of her Air Force training, determined to remain in control of herself. She successfully avoided Daniel all morning, but after lunch he managed to corner her in her office.

"Sam," he started.

"Daniel, I'm really busy right now," she said, keeping her back to him.

"Yeah, I'm not buying it, Sam" He waited patiently, watching her in silence.

Sam sighed and turned to face him. "Daniel, I know you're just trying to help—I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're really making this worse. I'll be fine. I just—I can't talk about this with you. I'm sorry."

She could tell Daniel was hurt, though he tried not to show it. "Okay," he said quietly. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me." Sam didn't blame him for being hurt. They were always able to talk to each other about anything. It wasn't like her to shut him out.

He left and she tried to get some work done. Sam pulled out a pad of paper, intending to make some notes on the device that she was trying to figure out. Instead, she found herself sketching the face that was haunting her. She looked down at her drawing of Jonathan wistfully, unshed tears again burning her eyes.

She looked up as another knock came to her door. Sam turned to see Teal'c standing in her doorway.

"Teal'c, what can I do for you?"

"On the contrary, Major Carter. I am here to see what I can do for you."

She looked quizzically at him.

"Daniel Jackson suggested that you may need to speak with someone. I have observed that you usually discuss matters that concern you with him. However, Daniel Jackson was adamant that it would be best if I approached you instead."

Sam sighed as she thought of how sweet and thoughtful Daniel was—in any reality.

"I'm fine, Teal'c. Thanks."

"In truth, Major Carter, you appear to be far from 'fine'."

The concern in his voice overwhelmed her and she broke down into tears.

Teal'c hesitated a moment before reaching out to put an arm around her shoulders. She turned and buried her face in his chest. He held her shuddering form in silence for several minutes until she pulled away. She turned to grab the pad of paper from her desk and clutched it to her chest.

"Teal'c, how long was I unconscious?"

"Approximately fifteen seconds."

"Fifteen **seconds**?"

"Indeed."

Sam processed this information. "Fifteen seconds," she repeated.

"Do you not believe me, Major Carter?"

Sam looked at her Jaffa friend. "It's not that, Teal'c. It's just—for me, it seemed a lot longer."

Teal'c raised a curious eyebrow and Sam boggled at how that simple movement could express so much.

She licked her lips before beginning. "In those fifteen seconds of unconsciousness, I lived more than five years. It was like an alternate reality. Things on Abydos—well they didn't happen the same way they did here." Sam shook her head. "Daniel and I were married. Jonathan..." She showed him her drawing and touched it with a trembling hand. "He was our son."

Sam paused a moment to swallow the tears that were threatening to take over again. "But none of it was real. That whole life never happened. It couldn't have happened. Not in fifteen seconds."

Teal'c had remained silent during her explanation. He examined the picture she held and then turned his eyes to her. "Major Carter, I was not aware that you had such fine artistic skills."

She laughed softly. "Oh, I've been taking classes—" She stopped herself and stared at her friend. _I never took those classes...not in this life anyway._

"How did I draw that?" she asked, talking to herself more than to Teal'c. "My skills in this life are limited to stick figures." She looked up at him again. _Was it real? Was it possible?_

"Teal'c, I don't know what to do. Do I just ignore my memories of the last 5 years – memories of a reality that never existed? How can I do that? Jonathan...my wonderful Jonathan. And Daniel. He has no idea – I don't want to lose his friendship, but I don't know how to – or do I tell him about it? He'll think I'm crazy..."

The words were falling out of her mouth; she knew she wasn't making much sense. She looked up at her warrior friend and sighed. "What do I do, Teal'c?"

He paused for a moment. Sam's eyes pleaded with him.

"Major Carter," he said finally. "Secrets and lies only serve to keep people distant. I believe that if you truly wish to maintain your friendship with Daniel Jackson, then you should share your experience with him. I have come to know Daniel Jackson quite well over the last several years and I am certain that he would be sympathetic and understanding. I believe that you know this as well."

Sam had never heard Teal'c speak so many words at once. She realised that he was a wonderful person to talk to. He really listened, just like Daniel, and his more than 100 years of life had given him a wealth of experience from which to draw advice.

"You're right," she said finally. "Thank you, Teal'c. You're a great friend." Sam gave him a quick hug before picking up the drawing of Jonathan and heading out the door. _I have to do this now before I lose my nerve_.

**To be continued...  
Please read and review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**-- Chapter 9 --**

Sam stood outside Daniel's office. His door was open and she watched from the hallway as he stood hunched over something on his desk. He sighed and straightened, rubbing his neck and cursing softly.

"You okay?" she asked from the doorway.

His head whipped around and his eyes widened when he saw her. "Sam!" He smiled tentatively

"Busy?" She was nervous, and she knew he could tell.

"Not at all." He waved dismissively at the stuff on his desk. "Are you okay?"

Sam shifted awkwardly on her feet and sighed. "Not really. I was hoping we could talk?"

"Yes! Of course, Sam, please." He motioned for her to come in.

She closed the door to his office and turned to face him. Tears welled in her eyes. _How is it possible to miss someone who's standing right in front of you?_

Approaching her, Daniel gently took her arm and guided her to sit on the sofa in his office. He sat next to her; his eyes searching her face for a way to make her feel better. _He's so very like my Daniel. God this hurts._

Sam bit her lip, trying to encourage herself to just leap in and tell him, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she tipped the pad of paper that she was clutching so tightly to her chest slightly so that only she could see the picture. She gazed at it adoringly.

Drawing strength from the memory of her son, she hugged the drawing back to her chest, and then looked up at Daniel. "Teal'c said I was unconscious for about fifteen seconds?"

Daniel nodded.

"Do you know what that thing I touched does?"

His eyes flicked to his desk then back to her. "Not yet, no."

"I think I do. You know how you translated part of that book as 'leaving the life we've come to know'?"

Daniel nodded again. "Yeah...?"

"I think—when I touched it, my consciousness was transported into an alternate reality."

Daniel's eyes widened. "Really?"

Sam sniffed and nodded, "I don't know for sure if it was real. Every other experience we've had with parallel universes has been in real-time. This was—" She sighed. "During those fifteen seconds, I experienced more than five years."

"Wow..." he said softly.

She studied him a moment before continuing. "It was five wonderful years. I know I've been acting a little off since – I'm sorry. It's just hard readapting to..." She glanced around the room. "...this life." Sam sighed heavily.

"I can't imagine what you're going through, Sam. Do you want to talk about it?" Daniel rubbed her back and gazed at her tenderly.

The look on his face brought tears to her eyes again. She tore her eyes away from him and took a deep breath. Sam tipped the notepad away from her chest so he could see it, resting it face up on her lap.

"Who's this?" he asked quietly, studying the drawing. "He looks...familiar."

"He's—" Her voice broke as the tears overflowed her eyes and began to stream down her face. "He was my son." Sam gazed at the picture again. "His eyes are—were the most beautiful shade of blue. And so smart..." She smiled through her tears, remembering little Jonathan. Her fingers trailed over the face of the picture of her boy.

"Your son?" Daniel was clearly astonished.

Sam wiped at her tears and nodded again. She looked up at him, staring intensely into his eyes. Sam was certain that he could see the deep love she felt for him painted all over her face, but surprisingly, his gaze didn't waver.

He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "What was his name?"

"Jonathan," she whispered with a wistful smile. "Jonathan Jacob—" Sam hesitated before finishing. "Jackson."

Daniel's jaw dropped. "Jackson?"

She sighed again. "I should start at the beginning..."

"Yeah, okay," he said cautiously, his eyes again dropping to the image in her lap.

Sam looked around his office again. "But not here. Can we go...somewhere else?"

**To be _concluded_...  
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	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's notes: **This story wouldn't be what it is without Thraesja, my shiny new beta. If you liked it, send her virtual cookies. And flowers. And something nice for her muse, as well. No jello though. Ooh, and sing Thrae a nice song, too. Especially the ones that get stuck in your head for days. She **loves** those. Oh, and she just posted her own Sam/Daniel story. It's great! Go read it. :)_

**-- Chapter 10 --**

Half an hour later, they were at Sam's house. She put on a pot of coffee and once they each had a mug of the hot liquid, they moved into her living room. Daniel sat down in a comfortable chair and Sam sat on the edge of her sofa facing him. With a deep breath, Sam started to tell Daniel about her experience after touching the artefact. She had only given Teal'c a brief summary; Daniel deserved every detail.

Sam started with the differences between this reality and that one. She explained how she had woken up in a hospital with him and discovered she was pregnant with his child. She told him about their life together and their wonderful son. Every detail of the five years was related. Daniel paid close attention, asking questions now and then, but mostly just listening.

"We were so happy, Daniel." She swallowed the tears that threatened again. "Jonathan—he was such a treasure. We loved him. We loved each other." Sam dropped her eyes to her lap. "I don't know if it was real or a dream, but it felt real," she finished quietly. The pain of losing her son was almost more than she could bear; she prayed that she wouldn't lose her best friend as well.

Sam stared through her tears at her hands in her lap. She had been speaking practically non-stop for hours; she felt like she had run out of words. She waited for Daniel to say something. Anything.

Daniel looked at Sam for a long time before getting up and sitting next to her on the sofa. Sam looked at him as he put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his body.

Sam forced herself not to relax into his embrace as she so desperately wanted to. "Daniel?"

"Shh, Sam. It's okay," he whispered.

Relenting, she melted into his comfortable arms and hugged him tightly. "Thank you for sending Teal'c to talk to me. That was very sweet."

"I was worried about you."

"I wasn't sure I should tell you any of this..." Sam's voice trailed off uncertainly.

"No, I'm glad you did." Daniel held her in silence for a while before continuing. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't have similar dreams about you."

She pulled away and looked at him; her startled blue eyes searched his.

He grinned sheepishly. "Of course, mine weren't quite as detailed as yours."

"What—you have?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Though I never dreamed that you might actually feel the same way about me." Daniel moved his head closer to hers.

"I—I don't understand." She licked her lips nervously.

"Sam..." His hand brushed against the side of her face.

Her eyes closed at his all too familiar touch. "Daniel," she breathed.

His lips met hers in a soft, loving kiss. Sam pulled away, afraid this was all another dream.

She studied his expression. He smiled at her softly; the love in his eyes was plain. Sam thought of her newfound ability to draw and frowned.

"What?" asked Daniel fearfully.

"I have to know something," Sam murmured, her hand tentatively reaching out to touch a particular spot on his chest. "Right here," she said slowly, "Is there—do you have—" Sam swallowed the lump in her throat, nervous. Her eyes fluttered up to his, questioning.

"Freckles," she finally got out. "Three of them. They look like Orion's belt."

Sam looked back down at his chest. She gently tugged at his shirt, pulling it up. Daniel was confused but he didn't object. Sam lifted his shirt, exposing the spot on his chest that she was looking for. She gasped, her eyes welling with tears. Her fingers touched his bare skin, caressing her favourite freckles. Daniel looked down to see what had captured her attention.

She looked up at him, bewildered. "How did I know these were there?"

"I don't know, Sam." Daniel took her hand in his.

"Was it real?" Sam was trembling again.

"I don't know, Sam," he repeated. Daniel lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"Could it be real?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Well." Daniel smiled, his eyes gently suggestive. "I'd say that's up to you."

Sam blinked back more tears and tenderly touched his face.

And she smiled.

**THE END  
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